Beyond Light's Brink
by starbornshine
Summary: What goes on beyond the edge of light? What scenes were deleted and which were changed? This a collection of outtakes, bloopers, deleted and altered scenes from Star Wars: Light's Brink, featuring the usual cast. Outtakes start from Chapter 53. Will be updated with every new chapter. Reviews are very welcome. OC/OC
1. Explanatory note

**Hi! This is a note page to explain what my Bloopers, Altered Scenes And Deleted Scenes are. Feel free to skip ahead if you don't want to bother with this or are already acquainted with this, it's not mandatory. Thank you for taking a peek at behind the scenes - Beyond Light's Brink.**

 **For those that have remained, without further ado my explanation.**

 **BLOOPERS: The shortest of the deleted scenes. Basically an alternative way I attempted to start a section in a chapter, but didn't feel like it fit so I deleted it and rewrote it. You guys have no idea how often this happens. I only kept the best ones.**

 **ALTERED SCENES: Scenes that had the same start as the scene that was kept, but were ultimately cut in favour of the now posted scene as those turned out better. I normally give the reason as to why.**

 **DELETED SCENES: Exactly what is on the tin. Scenes, who scenes normally, that I cut from the posted version for one reason or another which I normally give below. I miss them often.**

 **That's about it. If anyone is wondering why I started at Chapter 53 and not earlier? I, um, just didn't keep them before chapter 53, just deleted them into the void. Yup, that's it. No specific reason.**

 **Well, hope you enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 53

_**Chapter 53: DELETED SCENES**_

 ** _DELETED SCENE No 1: TK's memories_**

A memory surfaced at PISCES words, one that TK had long buried deep down in the recesses of his memory core to avoid the guilt. The memory of accomplishing the first directive of his original masters, of his creators as well as the memory of the moment when it had all changed for him:

 _He stood upon the hill, raining blaster fire, watching them scurry about desperately. He was chaos, he was their devastation, he was most likely their death. It never changed, no matter what planet in his assigned systems he visited...They scurried about like ants, focused only on their own survival. Their instinct was to flee and so they did, without even attempting to fight back. Foolish. His syntheskin shifted to allow a scowl to form on his face. This was pointless._

 _Suddenly, among the scurrying figures two did not run away. They seemed to be attempting to rally the others to no avail. This was...unlike the normal patterns. A piercing, shrill cry exploded in the air, creating a cacophony with the other sounds. TAURUS sighed to himself: another miniature organic was crying. They were even worse than the older ones- helpless. At times, a small part of him even felt a bit guilty for disposing of the them. But, then again, nothing, but his directives mattered. Nothing at all. TAURUS quickly located one of the two last living miniature organics in this village settlement and trained his rifle upon them, making sure the two other heavy cannons kept firing. The smaller one's end would be swift. However, unexpectedly, the older one pulled the smaller one out of the way, getting hit in the shoulder by TAURUS's shot instead. TAURUS let loose another shot, his aim as precise as ever, but to his surprise the older offspring did not let go of the smaller one and run, instead he dodged, shielding the more helpless one with his own body, ignoring the pain he was in. This was not normal, but TAURUS could adjust. He switched his weapon and once more focused on the now escaping offsprings. The older one was carrying the wailing younger one even though it was slowing him down. That was foolhardy, but strange. It had never happened before on TAURUS's watch. Then, abruptly, the older one fell, tripping. Oh well. TAURUS shot again, confident that this time he wouldn't miss. One anomaly was nothing._

 _TAURUS stared, dumbfounded. How was this possible? Instead of the miniature organics dying one of the older ones, who had been begging the other's to fight, fell, having shielded the two with his body. He had died instead of them and he hadn't even known them. And, now, the female older organic was pulling the offsprings along after herself. Risking her life...for them. That was what all they were doing. Why would organics do that? Why were these three like that? Why were they willing to lose their lives for others? This had never happened before. Surely, their chances of living were much higher if they abandoned the others. So, why didn't they? Could what the creators had assumed be wrong?_

The memories shifted, changing. Instead of the day he had learned the meaning of sacrifice, TK found himself recalling the moment when he had come in contact with the next civilisation.

This time, TAURUS decided to try another way. He did not fire. At first, he simply sat and watched them, trying to see if the anomalies could be here. These organics, though small in number seemed to almost radiate warmth. Warmth and life. They seemed to care for another. Care? What was that? TAURUS did not understand that.

 _He approached them and instinctively they shrank away from him. That did not bother TAURUS. He turned to the nearest one, a woman, shielding her small offspring with her body. Another one. His vocabulator engaged, mimicking their language:_

 _-Where is your leader, organic?_

 _Instantly, as though he'd lit a match, a group of organics blocked his way forward, north-east. They pointed their primitive weapons at him. Amusing. They were lucky TAURUS wanted to understand them instead of kill them. He could barely believe his own audacity- he was not supposed to disobey his directives. He raised a single hand to assure them, something he'd never done before:_

 _-I merely wish to speak with him._

 _They looked confused, but did not relent. Not even when TAURUS pointed a blaster at them. They seemed intent on protecting their leader. Was this another trait he'd never come across?_

Slowly, one by one, memories of that time, when TAURUS had existed and had slowly tried to note those anomalies, to catalog them, whirled before TK. He remembered attempting to use puzzles to gauge the organic's skill level and being pleasantly surprised. He remembered trying diplomacy and having negotiations that were favourable for both sides work out and he remembered eventually coming to understand that the creator's were wrong. These small, fragile creatures had potential. That was what he had believed as TAURUS. Now, many millions of years later, he knew for certain as TK - PISCES was wrong. He could not be more wrong. The organics from the time of TAURUS's first mission had changed in mental advancement, having conquered almost the entire galaxy while his creator's had destroyed themselves. TK looked to Jayden, Alana and a feebly stirring Risha. Those three were prime examples of the good and the evil the organics held within themselves.

 ** _Why was this deleted?_**

 _Honestly? Because it didnt seem necessary and detracted from the tension of the moment. TK should reference this and tell it to the whole group in Chapter 56-57. A lot of scenes were deleted due to being unnecessary._


	3. Chapter 54

**_Chapter 54: DELETED SCENES_**

 ** _ALTERNATIVE SCENE No 1: Alana and Ceresta in the world between worlds._**

You'll remember everything with time. Follow me.

That said the doppelgänger walked through the hazy curtain of the archway and vanished. Grumbling under her breath about life making no sense, Alana followed her. It was like walking through a wall of cold gel. Soon enough, Alana was standing on the all too familiar approach to the Jedi temple on Aroko. Ceresta was gazing at the structure sadly. Alana silently approached her, only gasping when she saw what her mental construct was looking at. There were people around the Jedi Temple. A lot of people. There had never been people before. They seemed to be Jedi. Alana looked around to see that just like around the temple there were plenty of people passing her by. All of them had unnaturally bright eye colours, almost neon or electric. Ceresta smiled ruefully at Alana's shocked expression:

-Yep. Those are our people. Or were, at least.

Alana opened and closed her mouth, trying to say something, but no words seemed to want to come out. She felt like she had been blindsided. She was shell-shocked,but she wasn't really sure why. Maybe it was seeing Aroko alive and thriving, maybe it was seeing people here or maybe it was seeing her own people for the first time.

She looked like a human, Alana knew that, she had seen her face in the mirror often enough to be aware of that. Heck, she'd thought that she was a human until recently. However, the problem persisted - her eyes. Their colour was unnatural, a vibrant, almost neon dark blue. Most thought she was either wearing contacts or she had had some genetic engineering done to attain that eye colour. She had never been able to explain why and how she'd gotten them naturally. They were the only thing that had made her stand out and people often ended up staring at them. As far as she had known she was the only person in the galaxy with that eye colour since birth. And now, here she was on a planet full of people with bright eye colours, from typical ice blue to an eye-popping (pardon the unintended pun) hot magenta and these people were her people. For once she felt like she wasn't strange or the only one like this in the galaxy, she felt like she could belong before reality popped that bubble.

Throat tight, Alana barely managed to choke out:

-What happened? Why am I the last?

-The old fairytales they tell about the Logos system are true to an extent - it was a war. An unanticipated, brutal, bloody war that wiped all these people out. That wiped our people out.

-Why are they here now though? They were never here when I was here before.

-This right here is a memory, instead of a place within your mind like Aroko is. If I'm not mistaken we're about six years old in this memory. Now, follow me. Don't worry, the people right here won't be able to see us. We can talk in the woods.

Alana looked curious as she followed her identical twin:

-Woods?

-We played in them as a kid a lot. This way.

It took a few minutes, but a while later Alana found herself entering a lush forest, leaving behind the modest houses and settlements they had passed by. The woods were plentiful, thriving with life, but they didn't feel dangerous like the jungle on Rodia, they felt welcoming, friendly almost. Absently, Alana thought she could understand why she would have felt drawn to this place. All of Aroko was a blazing source of light within the Force, but this place was special somehow. It just had that feeling. She didn't mind, but why were they going to the forest if none here could see them? She asked her doppelgänger that exact same question.

Ceresta smiled at that:

-This is your - our - memory. We kinda have to follow the source.

Alana raised her eyebrows:

-Wait, our past self is here?

Ceresta watched her uncertainly for a moment before pointing over her shoulder. Alana peered past the large tree trunk they were standing near and deeper into the forest to see a small clearing, hidden away surprisingly well from view. Alana frowned when she saw the occupants of that clearing. There were three people there, but no matter how closely she tried to look she just couldn't make them out. It was as if they kept sliding out of focus. She didn't know why, but she felt oddly compelled to see who they were. She knew one of them had to be her past self, but who were the other two? Maybe if she got closer she could see who they were. Alana made to take a step forward only to be halted by Ceresta's hand on her shoulder:

-Where are you going?

There was a certain tense note in Ceresta's voice, an emotion Alana could not define. She shrugged:

-I don't know what, but something is telling me that I have to see who it is. I have to know.

Ceresta bit her lip, clearly debating something within herself before nodding slowly. She slowly exhaled:

-Fine, but we keep behind the trees and we do not get into the eyesight of our past self, got it?

-Can our past self see our future self?

-Heck if I know. It just feels safer this way. Now, do you understand?

Alana nodded:

-Yeah. Stick behind trees, don't let mini us notice us.

-Good. Let's move.

They moved as the mental construct had instructed, slipping behind the trees, keeping out of sight from their younger self. If Alana was being honest she was far more interested in the two figures there with her than her younger self. She doubted that she looked much different from the way she had when Kai had first found her on Aroko. As they moved closer Alana began to hear snatches of the argument that was going on:

-...It's way past time...

-No one will agree...

-This is your...

-...think I don't know that...

-...act...it!

They were just snatches, like sounds from a badly damaged sound or video file, but the closer they moved the more Alana could hear. The woman sounded agitated while the man sounded defensive and like he was trying to stay calm, but couldn't. There was this strange unspoken undertone to their voices, like both were trying to keep some strong emotion at bay. The voices sounded so achingly familiar that it hurt. She wanted to remember so badly.

 _ **Why**_ _ **was**_ _ **this**_ _ **changed**_ _?_

 _Because the story took a different, more impressive track in my opinion, making Alana make a difficult choice between her past and her future, the light and the dark rather than going further into her past. The choice presented better character development and the memory scene wouldn't have been all that interesting anyway, I simply chose to take the higher road in this instance. Plus then I would have confused people even further with how Alana and the Lost One are related and it's confusing enough in my opinion._

 _We will probably get to see this particular memory at some point in the future as it rather important to Alana's childhood._


	4. Chapter 55

**_Chapter 55: DELETED SCENES, BLOOPERS AND OUTTAKES_**

 ** _BLOOPER No 1: Risha's medicine_**

Risha Zyran was typically an optimistic person, but even she could feel discouraged when met with multiple failures in a steady row. Right now was one of those times. It wasn't as though Risha had never encountered stumbling blocks when it came to her previous research before, no, but at least back then she'd had access to some of the galaxies greatest wellsprings of knowledge, libraries of so much information that at times she didn't even know where to start. Now, she was reduced to speculating on how to close her friend's wound that even bacta and kolto couldn't heal as some chemical kept negating their effects with only her past experience and basic knowledge for help.

 ** _BLOOPER No 2: Risha and Okarr_**

Risha looked to the door when she heard swish open. She expected it to be Shaera or one of the other medical assistant, but she was instead greeted with the unexpected visage or Captain Julos Okarr. He was carrying to steaming cups of something. She had thought he'd left. Why was he still here? Captain Okarr had finished healing and Risha had given him a check up yesterday, but he was still hanging around for a reason indiscernible to Risha. Well, it was his life.

He exchanged a quick greeting with the astromech before walking over and sitting down on the same couch as Risha. He handed her the other cup which Risha quickly identified as caf. When Risha looked at him in surprise he clapped her on the shoulder:

-Don't look so surprised, Doctor. I ran into Dr. Kryik in the corridors on my way back here and she suggested you might end up pulling another all-nighter so I decided to help you out. You do drink caf, right?

Risha smiled for the first time in days, feeling the warm feeling of gratitude bloom within her chest:

-Thank you. And yes, I do. Wait, is it that late already?

The smuggler checked his chrono and showed to Risha, making the girl gape. It was already nearing ten in the evening. Had she really lost track of time? It seemed it was morning mere minutes ago. Risha frowned:

-But it was morning a little while ago...

Captain Okarr gave her a worried look:

-Kid, you've been holed up here all day. You missed both lunch and dinner. The people here are starting to get worried.

TK unexpected chimed in, confining the smuggler's words before retreating back into himself as he had been doing lately. Risha ran a hand down her face:

-I don't believe it.

The old man sighed:

-Well, that's the situation. You should rest, doctor. As capable as you may be, you are still young - you need sleep. I'm sure I and the droid can keep track of your friends.

TK voiced his agreement. Risha looked uncertain, conflicted. She was tired, she knew that, but she couldn't just walk away and rest while they were hurt:

-But I can't just leave them. Why are you doing this, Captain?

Captain Okarr leaned back in his seat, tugging at his beard thoughtfully. He was silent for a moment before looking to an expectant Risha:

-Why am I doing this? I suppose there are quite a few reasons. For one, you saved my life. You rescued me from PISCES, gave me back my ship, healed me and now you expect me to walk away without thanking you? That is not happening. I pay my debts.

-But we got you injured!

-You didn't get me injured. You gave me a chance to fight and I was all too happy to see that menace go down, even if I got a few grazes along the way. You are a smart young woman, doctor - you know what this galaxy is like. Do you honestly believe I haven't been in my fair share of scrapes? I've been around at least thrice as long as you young ones have and I find it unseemly that such young people should protect an old man like me. I can fight too. You all just gave me the chance to, - he sighed, looking to Alana and Jayden,-It's been a long time since I've seen such genuinely brave and loyal people, especially with you all being so young. I intend to thank you. So, please, doctor, let me do what little I can to repay you four and rest. Maybe I'll even take a crack at solving that little puzzle you've been working on all day, I've seen my fair share of chemicals in life. Maybe I could give you a clue.

 ** _DELETED SCENE: Jayden's Mindscape_**

Jayden was in the cockpit of the Crimson Storm, checking the results of the systems diagnostic that had just finished. A small smile sat on his lips as he hummed a merry tune under his breath. He knew the diagnostic was probably unnecessary with how much time he and TK had spent checking over and repairing the ship, but, then again, they'd been insulting each other half the time so there was the off chance that they'd missed something. It was better to be safe than sorry and, besides, he liked working on the ship. It was his after all and, well, he wanted to make sure that it was a safe home for his crew. Jayden's smile grew at the thought. He had a home and a crew, friends. An additional burst of happiness suffused him, joy thrumming within him. It was so strange that such a simple thing could make him smile.

He was leaning over to save the results of the diagnostic in the logs when he felt more than heard someone approach from behind, a pair of hands obscuring his vision swiftly. He rolled his eyes as he heard that familiar sing-song voice from behind him:

-Guess who?

-Really?! Really, princess? What are we - five?

Alana laughed, dropping her hands:

-Well, apparently I'm supposed to be sixteen, but stranger things have happened before. Anyway, what are you doing cooped up inside?

-Just finishing up a diagnostic. I wanted to make sure TK and I didn't miss anything while we were doing repairs.

-Good idea.

Alana moved to her spot as the copilot, checking the set of results on her own screen as Jayden finally managed to save the results in the logs. Alana gave a small hum of approval:

-All systems green. You guys did a good job, despite your bickering.

Jayden smiled at her:

-Yeah, well. I'm surprised you didn't step in to stop us sooner.

Alana laughed:

-Well, I was going to, but Risha told me it was best to let you get it out of your systems. Seeing as the ship got fixed and TK hasn't threatened to shoot you and you to dismantle him at all in the last day, I'd say it was a good call. Anyway...

Jayden looked to her to see an uncertain expression flit over her face as she leaned against a bulkhead on the copilot's side. She didn't seem to notice that she was fiddling with her sleeve as she took a deep breath. Jayden frowned. She seemed almost nervous. Why? Was something wrong?

 _Her eyes. Concerned, no, worried. Flitting about. She checks one side, the other. Tense. Shoulders square, back rigid. Jaw twitching. Swirl of unease that he can feel in the back of his mind. Eyes flick to him before she moves to the panel. Jaw now set. Determined, not confident, still worried. Fearful. He reaches for her hand—_

Jayden shook his head:

-Alana?

He called out, starting to get concerned. Dark memories of PISCES hurting her flitted through his mind. Risha had said everyone was fine now, though for the life of him he couldn't recall when she'd said that. Had something happened? Alana looked up, meeting his eyes with a shaky smile on her face. She was nervous. He waited patiently for her to speak, he had a feeling further questions on his part would only make her more nervous. Why in the blazes was she nervous though? He felt like he was missing something and that was odd since he could normally follow Alana's thought process even without the mind meld. Exhaling slowly, she spoke up:

-Anyway, uh, I was meaning to ask...,-Alana paused before finally forcing out the words that had been spinning at the tip of her tongue,- are we okay?

 _Her eyes open. Open and vulnerable. Fixed on him, waiting. Patient. He's speaking. It's hard, almost suffocating. Painful. Dark. He doesn't want to speak of it anymore. Images before his mind's eye: Mother's blood, vibroblade through lungs, half-closed lifeless green eyes, rough hands grabbing, spikes, fear, a storm of lightning — No! No more of it! Afraid, so afraid. Can't breathe. Drowning. Deeper and deeper and —_

 _A buoy. Warm and light. Comforting. Holding his hand. He looks. Her hand wrapped around his. Familiar. Slender, but strong, firm. Didn't know he was craving her touch. A sense of calm, reassurance. Not alone. Not there, not in the dark. She's here. Blazing defender. The wish is years late, but here. He draws on her strength. Continues speaking. Her eyes, warm hand. Shuddering breath from him. He continues speaking..._

Jayden blinked, being caught off-guard. Whatever he had been expecting it wasn't this. He hadn't expected the whatever-it-was and the weird question. He instinctively reached out across the bond, but found it muted. That was weird. Alana normally kept it open when they weren't in danger. He was the one that normally drew away from it, not her and by now he'd gotten so used to it that he didn't normally close it off anymore. The weirdest part was that it wasn't closed - it was muted, like it normally was when Alana was asleep or out of it. But she wasn't asleep, she was standing in the cockpit with him, looking at him nervously and expectantly. Realising that he hadn't said a word in a few minutes, Jayden cleared his throat:

-What do you mean? Risha said everyone was good to go. TK's fine. So is the ship.

 _Pale. She's too pale. Skin almost white. Purple vein running up her neck. Not supposed to be there. Cold to the touch. Still breathing. Relief. She's sick. He can't lose her. Not her. Better him than her. He needs to find a doctor. TK's news. Should be a doctor here. He hates the desert planet. He's going. She needs to be safe._

 _Red togruta body passed out on the floor, cuffs around her wrists. Alive. Unconscious. Fury at him. He's gloating. "Why couldn't I stop him?" runs through mind. Should have protected her. Metal gleams. Danger. Which one next?_

 _Murr's in control. His body, but not his anymore. He fights. Like beating against immovable ice. Burns. Murr reaches out a hand. His hand. The Force coils. Anger as a source. Not his though. He can't stop! Crackle of lightning. No! TK's lights power down, electricity crackling across the metal. His fault. He did that._

 _Explosion blossoming at his heels. He has to reach it he has to. Hurtling into the cockpit, placing the unexpected new ally in the copilot's chair. Storm in danger. Can't lose ship. His ship. No one damages his ship. Detached. Too slow. Close now. Pull away! Fire flower blossoms behind._

Jayden winced at the intrusion. Alana sighed and shook her head:

-No, that's not it. By "we" I mean you and me. I mean, after PISCES and before...Are you mad at me?

Jayden felt even more confused. If anyone was at fault for their silent disagreement aboard the Storm before boarding PISCES's station it was him, why would he be mad at her? He told her as much:

-No, of course not. Why would I be mad at you?

- _It doesn't matter. Goodnight._

 _He walks away from the table, leaves Risha and TK behind, turns the corner, his teeth clenched. It hurts. Her looking at him, eyes wide, betrayed. He hadn't meant it. It hadn't come up. The skin around the implant burns. A ghostly burn, not physical. The source of it. Heart still hurts. He hurt her. Her pain in the Force. Muted, but there. He pushed her away. Not intentionally, accidentally. He wants to apologise. Tell her he's sorry. He doesn't want her further away. If anything he wants her closer._

 _He doesn't know where that thought's from. Heat floods his cheeks. He takes a deep breath, leaning up against the wall. Cold through his shirt. Good, cold is good. He feels too warm. He slides down. Sits on floor. Head against knees. Heart is hurting. Ghostly pain, emotional. Arms around his knees. It hurts. Why does it hurt? It never hurt before. Not this much. He wants to run after her. Tell her about it. No time. He needs rest. Dangerous plan, near-suicidal mission. Walking into the waiting arms of the enemy. He's not a liar, not to himself. He's afraid. Afraid they'll lose. They'll lose if he's tired. He has to rest. He can't speak to her now. She would ignore him. Would be better if she shouted. He can't talk to her. Rest. Time for sleep. He knowns the nightmares will be there to keep him company to night. Shoulders back, head up. Nowhere to run._

He blinked at the painful interruption. What the heck was going on? He focused on his partner. Alana frowned:

-You'd be well within your right if you were. I mean, the implant was really your business and I shouldn't have acted the way I did. You didn't do anything wrong and I flew off the handle. Anyway, I just wanted to apologise for the way I acted. So, I'm sorry...Can you forgive me?

 _He's leaning against the cliff face behind him. It's not overly comfortable. At least he's away from her. Away from her and her ridiculously spellbinding all-seeing eyes. Really beautiful. He shakes his head. She's frustrating. Why her? Or, alternatively, why him? If anyone could show him a more unlikely pair in the galaxy he'd pay them. They don't fit in the least. He sure as heck doesn't have a blasted sign on his forehead that says "excellent candidate for Force-bonding". The source of his frustration too doesn't seem like the best team player in the world. Some Jedi thought the Force to be sentient. If so then Jayden believed that the Force had finally lost its mind. He scowled._

 _He feels the Force bond in his mind. Its annoyingly omnipresent. Like something that's not exactly there, wasn't there, but it's now necessary to his mind. If he could he would take it out. Out of all people, why her? Not that he knows her. She's a good fighter, frustrating, brave, annoying, reckless, impatient and...and...and she's coming over to him. Great. Just spiffy. What'd she want now?_

 _He looks away, looks at his arm. Red blood from his shoulder. Graze from rocks in battle? He touches it. Stings. No. Deeper cut. Problematic. Need to staunch the blood flow. He's acutely aware of how close she is. He doesn't look at her. He's annoyed and if he looks he'll snap at her. They're on a toxic planet, near to mutated Fefze corpses with a small child - not the place to bicker, though he'd like to. Alana is very frustrating._

 _He frowns as she moves his hands away from the wound wordlessly and sets her's at either side. He's about to snap at her when a cool and pleasant feeling spreads through his upper arm, numbing the pain completely. He's distracted. It's nice. Faint glow emanating from her hands. Skin pulling back together. No pain. Huh, weird. More Jedi weirdness. He doesn't stop her even though the tingling he feels when her thumb accidentally touches his skin is disconcerting. Tension. Silence. The glow is brighter. How bright can it get?_

 _She speaks without looking away from her work (he's grateful):_

 _-Listen, I know you're probably mad at me and I do admit I overreacted. Also that's probably an understatement...,- she laughs quietly,-I understand if you want to ignore me completely, but just don't compromise the mission - that's all I'm asking. And,- she takes a deep breath, hesitates, before taking the plunge,- I was happy to hear that you worry. I guess...What I'm trying to say is...I'm sorry._

Inwardly, Jayden frowned at the strange shard piercing his thoughts. He pushed it away, focusing on Alana. Jayden furrowed his eyebrows as he took a few steps forward so she was within arm's reach. He shook his head:

-Alana, there's nothing to forgive. I really should have told you.

-No, there was

-The answer to your original question is yes. Yes, we're good. You know, you don't have to argue with me every single time, that way you might actually get your answer quicker.

Alana breathed a sigh of relief, chuckling:

-Touché, my friend, touché. You know me: I'm stubborn.

Jayden grinned:

-I'd be worried if you weren't. That's not the partner I know.

As soon as he said that his vision fizzled out as he was hit by another wave. Jayden couldn't help groaning.

 _He's angry. Angry at her for running away. This is not her. He won't allow this to end like this. His voice is hard as he speaks:_

 _-You're acting like a coward, Alana._

 _She whips around. Shocked. Eyes blazing. Her own fire within. Good. Anger is better than defeat. Or Apathy. Apathy is death. She clenches her hands into fists:_

 _-What?! I'm doing what's best for all of us!_

 _Still running away. Anger hisses inside. He scoffs under his breath. Pathetic. She doesn't hear. He won't let her make a mistake. She's desperately trying to and that makes him angry. He fights to not let the anger blind him. He can't let it. He knows what he will say next will hurt her, but he must do it. He is undeniably starting to care about her, to care for her. This is different from Duro. That is why it is also harder, much harder. He will not let her try and repeat his mistake. His voice is a degree colder when he speaks again:_

 _-No, you're not! Face it, you're running away from the problem! This...This person you are right now isn't the person who made me notice her amongst all my other opponents. She isn't the person who charged at me full force, knowing full well that she could be killed. She isn't the one who made acknowledge my defeat. She isn't the person who made me wonder who in the galaxy she was for the next few days! This person right now isn't the one who didn't flinch when she fought a dark Jedi and cut his arm off! She isn't the person who risked her life by saving clones on a doomed ship! She isn't the one who risked her life to save a child on a toxic planet and she most certainly isn't the one who I accepted as a partner and a friend_!

Jayden forced a smile on before she could notice. Meanwhile, Alana smiled brightly at that even as she shook her head in amusement. She started moving to the exit of the cockpit while she spoke:

-I wouldn't want to disappoint. Come on, everyone's waiting for us outside. It's a nice day.

He shook his head, genuinely smiling:

-Yeah, I'll be just a minute. Let me power down the ship.

Jayden told her, moving for the controls again. To his surprise, Alana caught him by the arm mid-turn and quickly pressed a feather light kiss to his cheek. He felt his heart stop beating in shock. Meanwhile, the culprit merely smiled innocently and almost skipped out of the cockpit, calling back:

-Don't take too long.

Jayden stood frozen for a minute, struggling to understand what had just happened. His brain refused to reconcile with reality. Had that just happened? Jayden felt his face flare up. His cheeks felt as though they were on fire. Something was very weird here, not that he was arguing. Though he could do without these weird flashes, they were starting to hurt his brain. It was hard to keep them tuned out. Running a hand through his hair, Jayden mumbled:

-What in the world is going on?

That seemed to encompass his puzzlement perfectly. Unexpectedly, another voice almost identical to Jayden's own, spoke up from his right:

-Well, this is a nice little fantasy. I'm not surprised you chose something familiar to cling to as a last hold out point. Though our partner is an unexpected touch to this picture.

That snapped him out of his stupor. Jayden looked to the source to see his identical twin, casually leaning against the main control centre, his arms crossed over his chest with eyebrows raised over his red eyes. A cold chill ran through Jayden, cooling the happiness in his blood. Shadow. He would know that face anywhere. And if Shadow was here it meant that this all was...

Shadow filled in for him:

-A dream? In a sense. It's not real if that's what you mean. You must have had at least an inkling of that, yes? I mean, all those disjointed flashes. Memories slipping away... Shall we move this a less distracting location?

He snapped his fingers and suddenly the whole cockpit melted away so Jayden and his alter ego were standing in an endless void of just black. Jayden sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. If he was here with Shadow that meant things were worse that he'd originally thought. Shadow only popped up as a person in his mind when he was overstressed or he needed help as he fumbled around deep within his psyche. That meant something had gone wrong. Jayden furrowed his brow as he tried to remember where he was in reality only to feel dread roll over him in a wave as he realised he couldn't remember. He was drawing a blank. That had nearly never happened before. As much as he cursed his perfect memory it had never failed him before and he had come to rely on it.

Suddenly, he was hit by a wave of dizziness and nausea and he stumbled, remaining upright only due to Shadow catching him and holding him up. It felt like someone had punched him in the gut. The blackness around him was determinedly swimming and there was now at least three of Shadow before him. As much as Jayden didn't like his alter ego, he couldn't help himself as he groaned:

-What's going on?

Shadow was uncharacteristically concerned as he helped Jayden stand up straight, his eyes serious. Jayden felt a sliver of fear curl up inside him. Shadow was never worried. He was merely a mental construct. A self-defence mechanism. Something that Jayden had created in a desperate effort to retain both his humanity and sanity. If Jayden saw concern on his features that meant...He didn't know what it meant anymore. This had never happened before.

Shadow sighed:

-It's worse than we thought. Calm down, you'll be fine in a moment. Let it pass.

Seeing no alternative, Jayden swallowed and nodded. He closed his eyes, waiting for the bout of misbalance to go away. It didn't take long and Jayden soon found himself opening his eyes, grateful for the fact that there was only one alter ego standing before him. One Shadow he could handle. Three? He would have been worried that he was actually going insane. Which was entirely possible giving the way his memory was failing him.

-You're not too far off the mark.

Shadow told him bluntly, responding to his thoughts. Jayden straightened up, preparing to ask what in the name of the black holes was going on when he stopped short, the words dying in his throat. He had caught sight of what Shadow was wearing. Seeing those clothes on a copy of him, practically on himself was frightening. It was like looking into an alternate future, one that could have come to pass if not for the events that had led to Clan Callen's downfall.

Shadow was wearing a slightly altered version of the clothes Jayden had often seen his father wearing as a child - the formal wear of the Mandalorian nobility. Though Clan Callen had its roots as warriors and defenders the recent generations had climbed up the ranks of nobility, not too far, but enough to have some influence in the court. And that was not counting who Jayden's mother had been prior to running away. At least that's what his grandmother had told him. In Jayden's own memories his mother rarely spoke of her family, calling the clan her new family though Jayden had once caught her looking at a holo of what looked like a younger her, a little girl, a stern older woman and an older gentleman with a smile that matched his mother's. He hadn't thought much of it back then, but now he realised that was probably his estranged maternal family. His mother's noble family on Alderaan - the heirs of the House Alde. However he looked at it, his was the blood of nobility as much as it was the blood of warriors. And the clothes Shadow was now wearing were the clothes that painfully represented that, driving the point home.

It wasn't that the clothes were extravagant or over the top in any way, no, it was just seeing something that he'd always firmly associated with his frequently absent father on someone who was basically himself was overwhelming. The deep black jacket with a tall collar, shoulder pauldrons and three navy lines on the chest fit him perfectly, the smooth amber cufflinks glinting at his wrists, as did the matching trousers and polished shoes. It looked almost military in form and style, the only clear thing distinguishing it as the formal garb of the head of Clan Callen was the bright red sigil of the clan with the usual blue outline symbolising honor of their forefathers and the fierce loyalty that they possessed.

Those had been the old symbol colours, before he had changed it to a simple orange that was now understood as Shadow's crest. It was a bit sad that a once proud Mandalorian sigil had been reduced to the mark of a feared figure in the underworld. Had Jayden not been made the Clan Head maybe things would have turned out differently. Of course, if the title had not fallen to him - the last living heir of the Clan - then maybe his path would not have taken such a dark turn. Regardless, speculating about the what-ifs was pointless now.

Shocked, Jayden barely got out:

-W-Why are you wearing that? It's our father's clothes.

Shadow pinched the bridge of his nose almost tiredly, recognising Jayden's words as the kick start of his fight-or-flight instinct which would inevitably dissolve into a dispute they had neither the time nor the wherewithal for right now. They were on time table here. Thankfully, he was saved from having to respond by a voice speaking up as its owner materialised from the surrounding blackness:

-I'm not going to say I told you so, but...yeah, I told you so.

Shadow sighed, turning along with Jayden to face the newcomer with a slight scowl on his face. There she went even after being late. Jayden noted the last fact peripherally, being far too stunned by who had just come out of nowhere to fully focus on the small details. He was accustomed to Shadow, but this was something else entirely.

Before him stood a near-perfect replica of his partner, looking up at him calculatingly, her hands on her hips. She had the same height and build, the same stunning eyes, the same light caramel-brown hair that was loosely braided and thrown over one shoulder, even the same way of arching her eyebrows, but Jayden instantly knew this wasn't his Alana. This almost perfect clone was not Alana. His own mind had created a far closer copy of her than this person was and she hadn't even said more than a few words so far. For one this copy lacked Alana's two very prominent scars - one under her left eye and the other on the right side of her neck, for another there was none of his Alana's inherent and at times foolish trust in people. Those were the eyes of a hardened person. Alana had seen a lot and step by step she was losing her naïveté, but she was very far from having that look in her eyes and, honestly, Jayden hoped she never would have them at all. He frowned.

Reluctantly, Shadow looked between Jayden and his unlikely and altogether annoying accomplice for the moment. He sighed once more, preparing to introduce the bothersome girl to his counterpart when suddenly the young man in question frowned and bluntly stated:

-You're not Alana. So who are you and why do you look like her?

The bothersome girl seemed to be delighted by that mere statement. She turned to Shadow with a grin that said 'ha!' rather triumphantly before returning to face his counterpart:

-Well spotted. My name is Ceresta.

-Alana's middle name is your name? Forgive me if I stay rather far away from you. I'm not in the habit of trusting strange people who intrude upon my headspace. Two of us is already one too many. And with you having my partner's middle name you ring all sorts of alarm bells in my head that really shouldn't be rung.

That only seemed to make the girl's grin brighten:

-Ooh, so he's an attentive one too.

Shadow groaned:

-Ceresta, stop fooling around and cut to the chase. We don't have the time for this! Or are you oblivious to how dangerous this is, too?!

At that Ceresta's face grew dark, her eyes becoming thunderous and stormy. Another expression that Jayden had only caught glimpses of on Alana's face. Seeing Shadow and whoever Ceresta was together was more than a little surreal, it was like looking at another version of Alana and himself from darker, more troubled world. Jayden knew that the struggles they had gone through already were nothing to make light of, but seeing those alternate versions of themselves scared him and Jayden didn't scare easily.

Ceresta's voice held a dangerous undertone as she stalked over to stand face to face with Shadow, her fists trembling at her sides:

-You think I don't know that?! I'm very well aware of that, thank you! Their - heck, our - minds are now interwoven on such a level that this is killing her too! I could be there holding the fort, but instead I'm here - agreeing to your last ditch plan! So help me, Shadow, if you ever dare to insinuate that I'm oblivious to the dangers this presents especially to her then I will—

-What will you do? Neither you nor I are corporeal, remember? You are far less solid than I. You are merely a processor.

-And you are a block.

As they continued bickering, both seemingly having forgotten the issue of time, Jayden's headache built up. His head was beginning to pound. It felt like something was trying to destroy his brain from the inside. He could almost see the faint red fissures forming in the blackness that surrounded them. Out of nowhere, that wave of nausea and vertigo hit him again and this time Jayden couldn't retain his balance. He barely caught himself as he fell to his knees and proceeded to heave. Had he been in his physical body instead of his mental representation of him he would have retched. Instead, he felt uncontrollable spasm wrack his body, shoots of pain sprouting from everyone at once. It was as if his mind was being dissected into tiny pieces. Flashes danced behind his eyelids, flashes of things he should remember, but he was losing a grip on. His memories seemed to be crumbling into nothingness.

The pain once subsided marginally and Jayden could focus when felt a familiar presence touching his own through the bond. He opened his eyes and saw Ceresta and Shadow kneeling before him with both of the alternative versions clasping hands as if in a handshake, but both were surrounded by a faint golden glow. It reminded him slightly of Alana's glow. Moments after he had opened his eyes they let go of each other with a look of relief and the glow faded, however the sensation of Alana's warm reassuring presence remained, stubbornly keeping the pain at bay.

Ceresta ran a hand through her light caramel-brown bangs tiredly:

-I cannot believe that worked.

From his place beside Jayden Shadow grumbled:

-That makes two of us.

Ceresta narrowed her eyes at him:

-You could show a little faith, you know. I am doing so for your insane plan. Gah! We don't have time to argue about this.

Shadow frowned, crossing his arms:

-On that we can agree.

Before Ceresta could retort Jayden sharply cut in:

-Could we please have a little peace and quiet in my own head here?!

That shut the two up. Biting back a groan of discomfort, Jayden forced himself to stand up and pinned the two with a pointed glare:

-Thank you. Now, would anyone care to tell me what's going on?!

Ceresta and Shadow exchanged a look that spoke volumes of unease before the girl cleared her throat and gestured to the floor they were standing on:

-I think you should sit for this. Just in case what I - we - say causes another incident like that.

Jayden looked at them for a solid minute silently before slowly sitting back down in a cross-legged position. Once the duo had also sat down he fixed the two with a serious look, his arms crossed over his chest:

-Talk.

Shadow discretely nudged Ceresta who gave a tired sigh, but nodded. Maintaining eye contact with Jayden, she began speaking:

-As you've obviously figured out I am not Alana, but I am connected to her. Essentially, I am to Alana what Shadow is to you. I am not real. I am a processor at best, a fledgling shadow of a traumatised child at worst. If it's easier think of me as an Alana who has far more memory pieces than proper Alana does. I'm sort of a ghost of her past self. That's probably the simplest way of putting it.

-Okay, but—

-Don't interrupt, please. My reason for being here is the same as Shadow's. It also explains why you're probably feeling like your mind is being dissected into a million tiny pieces right about now. Jayden, to put it bluntly, your mind is dying. A certain type of spice called glitteryll combined with glitterstim is currently chewing through your hippocampus, neocortex and amygdala - basically the parts of your brain responsible for memories. They were injected into your body when PISCES stabbed you. There was also a poison involved - Synox - but your doctor friend has managed to neutralise it. However, it's been three days since this mixture has been in your system so we're now at the crisis point.

Jayden frowned:

-Wait, three days...That's how long I've been out?

Shadow nodded:

-Four days, actually, but that is irrelevant right now. Haven't you noticed your memories slipping away?

-I...Yes, I have...so the spices are responsible. But what can I do? What going to happen? Am I just going to end up in a vegetative state for the rest of my life?

Cold tendrils of fear wrapped around the boy at that thought, constricting tighter and tighter as his rather active imagination coloured in the picture with an almost sadistic sort of enthusiasm. Ceresta's voice, so much like Alana's cut in, ripping that terrifying image to threads:

-No. No, you're not. Because we won't allow it. Because you would never allow it.

Jayden looked up, seeing a very familiar pair of bright dark blue eyes, seeming almost electric blue in the darkness. She wasn't his Alana, the person who both drove him up the wall and the person who was closer to him than anyone had been in years, but she was definitely a piece of her - she had the same shine in her eyes when she was determined. Ceresta smiled brightly and nudged Shadow for his input. Jayden's darker side nodded, seeming more human than Jayden had ever seen him before:

-Right. There is a way to stop it. This is a case of mind over matter. You've managed three days so far, so we need you to manage the fourth. If you manage to keep a grip on your memories now, it'll be over and you'll be safe. She'll be safe too.

Jayden's eyes widened at that a bit:

-"She"? You mean the thing you were arguing about was this being dangerous to Alana?!

Ceresta nodded sombrely:

-The loss of memories isn't what's dangerous for her. Her mind has sustained damage like that already, she's an amnesiac and the mixture isn't in her body. It's her link with you, the pain that's shared over the bond and the consequences that are killing her. If you lose your mind, she will probably end up the same way - lost to a coma until she dies. She told you of this before, warned you even. On Rodia. Do you remember?

Jayden frowned as he fought to pull up the memory, it impaling his fragile mind like a shard of glass. The image bled into view before his mind's eye.

They were inside that makeshift HQ on Rodia, the tent where she sat on a crate looking down at her hands uncertainly while he hovered nearby as TK ran calculations of something for the plan they were about to present to the Jedi Master. They had been talking about what happened inside the Sith Temple on Duro. Her face still held that pained look when she spoke of seeing apparitions of him and TK die in there because of what she perceived to be her mistake. She had just admitted to Desolus managing to break her in there. Her voice was so hollow that it hurt to listen. Still, Jayden couldn't help asking:

-Then how...

Alana shrugged, shaking her head slowly:

-It's a miracle I was saved really. At one point there I wasn't really sure whether I was alive that day. I saw you and TK die because of me. I saw you die. I fear seeing people who I care about die because of my mistakes and he used that fear against me.

Jayden gave a single small nod:

-I know that fear. But why us? Why not your Master or your friend?

Alana spread her arms, indicating she had no idea. Though a moment later her face was clouded by a thoughtful look:

-Although...

-I'm guessing you have a theory.

-It's not so much a theory as it is a baseless speculation.

-Let's hear it anyway.

Alana looked down at her clasped hands and hesitantly spoke:

-I think it's this bond.

-What do you mean?

-Well, look at it this way - my life and my fate are seemingly irreversibly tied to yours. We share emotions, sensations, occasionally even thoughts. You also seem to be able to decipher me better than anyone I've met so far. Maybe that's what irks me about you. So far you and TK are the only ones I've really ever been able to be my full self around - even with my Master I wasn't so free. As cliche as this will sound - you and I are basically acting as two halves of a whole now and when a half is lost... Well, saying chaos ensues inside the remaining half would be the understatement of the century.

Jayden crossed his arms:

-So, what you're saying is that if one of us dies or falls into a coma there's a high possibility that the other will lose their life too?

Alana had a strange smile on her face as she confirmed his suspicions:

-Pretty much. Seems like you're stuck with me, hunter, through it all. I think we can do it together.

Jayden opened his eyes, looking to Ceresta and Shadow. The latter was holding his head as though suffering a severe headache. Which he probably was since he was also Jayden in the end. Jayden swallowed, nodding slowly:

-Yeah, she did. And that's what's going to happen?

Shadow sighed:

-Pretty much. And I don't fancy that idea.

Ceresta picked up from him:

-But there is a way. Another chance. We came up with it as soon as both your minds reached out to each other in an effort to stay whole. The mind meld is actually working in our favour right about now. It's buying us time.

-While killing Alana at the same time.

-Yes, but I'm her way of helping you. Shadow and I are manifestations of the subconscious as you well know. Right now we are deep in the heart of your subconscious and not too far from your memories. I can use the Force to buy us a little more time, keeping you rooted while Shadow can guide us through here. If you can access the memories connected to your six core emotions then you will be able to overcome the destructive influences of the spices. This is just like the worst part of an illness before the fever breaks and the healing process begins once the infection has been purged. Only this time this illness is fatal to two people. And neither of you is conscious enough to close off the bond.

Shadow nodded in confirmation of her words. If seeing them together for the first time had been strange, seeing them working together was surreal. It struck Jayden again just how like looking into an alternate future this was. He took a deep breath, trying to gather up his thoughts which was turning out to be much harder than he had anticipated it to be. He knew Ceresta was telling the truth, he could feel his mind destroying itself from the inside, he knew he'd retreated to his subconscious to hold out for as long as he possibly could and, worst of all, he could feel his memories slowly slipping through his fingers like wisps of smoke. That scared him. It really did. And he knew who was responsible for making him feel that fear right now.

PISCES...It seemed even in death that maniac wasn't ready to let their duel end. And he had dragged Alana into it once more. While Jayden hated PISCES as an enemy, he truly detested him for dragging Alana into it all. Alana was very...important to him, he had never met anyone like her before and now PISCES was threatening her life. Jayden couldn't stand by and allow that to happen. No maniac droid, dead or alive, was laying a hand on his partner for as long as he lived.

And for him to keep that promise he had to follow the two manifestations into the recesses of his mind and face his strongest memories, the ones tied to his core emotions. There were six officially: anger, fear, disgust, joy, sadness and surprise. However, Jayden knew that those six weren't the only emotions that made up the cornerstones of his memory, there were three more - hope, guilt and love.

Jayden took a deep breath. He knew what facing these memories would take from him. He wound be horribly vulnerable every time he saw them and after. Like all his defences would be stripped away from him. And in reality they would. He would have to willingly go into that turmoil and reattach those fading memories to himself, no matter how much he did not want to. He had quite a few suspicions what each one would force him to face and he knew, deep inside, that he wasn't ready for that, but he didn't have a choice. Not if he wanted to remain alive and keep Alana alive. And he would go to any lengths to make that happen.

He opened his eyes, looking to Shadow. Steeling his resolve, he nodded:

-Alright. Let's do this. Take us there.

Shadow's lips tilted up the tiniest of fractions. He snapped his fingers and Jayden gritted his teeth as he watched a large door materialise behind Shadow, covered by dozens of locks of different forms. Taking a deep breath, he took a step forward, pressing his hand against the door. The locks vanished and the two vault-like doors swung open, granting them entrance to Jayden's core emotions.

SW: LB=

Shadow walked ahead, glancing around as though looking for something specific while Jayden dropped back a bit, to walk with Ceresta whose presence here still made him feel wary. He had more than a few questions for this specific mental construct who claimed to be the ghost of the past Alana, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to ask so they walked in silence. Unexpectedly, his walking companion sighed and fixed him with a shrewd look:

-You can ask, you know. I don't bite.

-Yeah, I'm not going to test that theory. Let me ask you this then: are you and Alana like Shadow and I? Are you an alternate sort of personality?

Ceresta shook her head:

-No. I'm a filter, sort of. Alana created me to sort through the memories she was receiving back. I'm not sure you understand how taxing that on the mind. Too much at one time could kill her like this is doing to you now.

-It's that dangerous?!

-Yes. However, it won't mean much now. Not after what she chose.

Jayden frowned:

-What are you talking about?

Ceresta smiled sadly as she looked up somewhere, not really seeing anything:

-During your battle with PISCES, Alana was presented with a rather difficult choice. I won't go into details since it's really her story to tell, but she was faced with a choice over her own hopes and dreams and your whole crew. You can probably guess what she chose.

Of course, he did. It was Alana. When presented with a choice over herself and her friends she would choose them. Even if that choice wasn't easy for her, she would. He just hoped she hadn't sacrificed too much for them. Jayden was silent for a few moment before whispering:

-Us. She chose us.

Ceresta nodded:

-There was a price to that choice and she agreed to pay it. Just to save all of you. If she doesn't bring it up herself, make her tell you. She won't want to, but for her own good you need to know. Even if it's just you, flyboy, make her tell you.

-"Flyboy"? Where'd that come from?

Ceresta shrugged:

-I have to call you guys something. And calling you by your names feels like I'm encroaching upon her territory. She's a good kid. Sometimes I think she'd be a lot better off without these memories I've got clunking around. Anyway, you've got to promise me that.

-Won't you just nag her yourself?

-Kid, I'm like Shadow, I don't show up unless she's in danger of a meltdown. And, now, after what she chose not even then. This is probably the last time you'll ever see me. So get your shots in while you can.

She said this cheerfully, almost grinning and yet she somehow seemed sad. Jayden nodded:

-Alright, I promise.

-Good. And do me a favour - make up with her. It's hurting you both.

Before Jayden could even begin to formulate an answer she gave him a rough shove forward until he stumbled to stand next to his own counterpart who was standing beside a durasteel grey door. Jayden swallowed hard. He looked to Shadow:

-Which one is this?

Shadow waved a hand and clear aurabesh symbols materialised on the durasteel as if carved by an invisible hand. Jayden shuddered as he read what was written there: "FEAR". It was almost glaring at him ominously.

 ** _Why was this deleted?_**

 _Revealing too much too fast, as a main reason honestly. Plus the memory shard style was confusing as was Ceresta's involvement. While I really liked this scene as it gave more to the mental constructs and placed more importance in what was going on in Jayden's head because of the spices, I had to put it away as it was, sadly, unnecessary. I still keep this kind of canon in my head though. Jayden should reference this in Chapter 56-57_.

 ** _ALTERNATIVE SCENE: Cestele's lunch_**

Having lunch on the Heavensward was always a bit of a hassle and since learning that Cestele had made it a habit to go at least an hour after it could be served and to take the food back to her office on especially busy days, that was if she didn't forget to eat at all. Okay, so maybe Bendak and the Supreme Commander we're right in saying she needed to learn how to take it easy and look after herself. Most times she couldn't help it - there was just so much to do and not enough time to do it. As hectic as it was Cestele knew that she actually enjoyed having so much to do, it made her feel needed and secure, she knew where she fit in the grand scheme of things. Her habits helped with that too. After all, habit is second nature, right?

As always Cestele left her office about an hour after lunch had started being served, the Commander's threat still ringing rather ominously in her ears. She knew he was serious and that motivated her to try and look after herself a little more. She had warned him that she would have a method of retaliation in the postscript of her last report and some small part of her was curious as to how that would be received, the majority of her brain was still shouting at her for being so stupid as to write that. Privately, she had to agree with the second part. It was stupid and she had no idea why she'd done it. She just had. It also helped that Wesn had just given her an hour long lecture on why she and Bendak had to make the Supreme Commander take care of himself or he would take drastic measures as the head medic which would disrupt operations for days. She had promised to pass it on. So she had. Now she was inwardly beating herself up for phrasing it that way. Cestele sighed, what was done was done. Now she just hoped the Commander wouldn't be too unhappy with her breach of conduct. Honestly, he confused her more often than not.

A familiar voice pulled her from her thoughts:

-Ah, Cestele, heading to lunch?

She looked up to see a dark-skinned human man with a head full of shockingly red hair jog up to her from behind. She smiled at the familiar face:

-Bendak. Yes, I am.

He nodded:

-Good to see you looking after yourself.

She sighed:

-I am not giving the Commander any reason to follow through on his threats and I suggest you don't either.

Bendak raised an eyebrow:

-You think he was serious?

Cestele gave him a grim look:

-I know he was.

-Okay, mental note: never make light of the Commander's threats. I kind of thought he was joking. Which is why I was surprised since I didn't think he had much of a sense of humour.

 ** _Why was this changed?_**

 _Because it was me beating around the bush, the scene with Cestele and Bendak's lunch will occur in chapter 56 with a different flashback so while this was removed and changed to a scene that placed Cestele right in front of Tenebris' quarters this will still somewhat apply._

 ** _BLOOPER No 3: Alana's awakening_**

Alana felt like she was drifting in the middle of somewhere between consciousness and the land beyond when she heard voices. That was odd there'd never been voice's before and she'd definitely been here for a while. Not that she could tell how long 'a while' was. Her internal clock didn't seem to be functioning here. Still, Alana thought, her brow furrowing, she knew these voices. They were familiar. They made her feel safe, at home and like she belonged. Alana's stomach did a flip at that. She felt like she belonged with these voices. Who were they? Her mind still adrift in the place between sleep and awareness struggled to place names to the voices. It just knew firmly that she was safe, that the voices would not hurt her out of their own volition. They could be trusted. So Alana trusted them.

 ** _ALTERNATIVE SCENE No 2: Awake with friends_**

-Here you go. Drink up.

Risha said as she handed Alana a cup of warm green liquid in a cup. The younger girl took it from her, eying the mixture suspiciously. Risha rolled her eyes at that as she moved to check on Jayden's vitals. Seriously, the Jedi hadn't been up more than 10 minutes and she was already questioning her medicine. Still a smile curled up on her lips, it was good to see Alana acting normally. It meant that she was already healing. Her physical injuries had healed after a two weeks in a bacta tank and while the wounds dealt to her psyche were much deeper and graver than her the ones her body had suffered she knew that those would slowly scab over and heal too. Risha shook her head, exhaling an amused breath through her lips as she focused on Jayden.

Unlike Alana, Jayden had suffered very serious, some nearly critical wounds and the poison mixed with spices hadn't helped his condition. However, he had pulled through just fine, proving Risha's suspicions about him being much stronger than he seemed. The poison was safely out of his system, his stab wounds had healed and the spice seemed to have been neutralised too with what seemed like a few bad dreams for Jayden. She winced. Risha felt bad for him, dealing with that had had to have been difficult.


End file.
